Sunday morning I awoke with a desire to be in church,immerse my soul in fellowship & corporate worship with singing and sharing an attitude of expectation. In a sanctuary. My faith flourishes without the Sunday-Go-To-Meeting ritual, but it's been too long for me without fellowship. I thought it would be comforting after the upset in my spirit from disturbing occurrences in the news the past week. Aside from the sheer horror and tragic loss of lives resulting from the shootings at Fort Hood, I have continued to dwell upon a comment to the media after the fact by a high ranking officer/spokesperson re: how disturbing it was that soldiers who are prepared to put their lives on the line in the field - out there - were gunned down in their 'sanctuary'. We may be aware of the incredible fragility of 'life', subject to irreversible change in a heartbeat. We may know life can be as easily snuffed as a breath exhaled upon the flame of a candle. Still, we presume invulnerability and rest secure in our places of 'sanctuary' - ourimpenetrable fortress & inviolate place of safety - until, shockingly, the impenetrable is penetrated and the inviolate is violated.
I think it's a ripple effect of that thought introduced into my soul - that chi or spirit or whatever you may name it - that had me feeling uneasy & insecure as I lay me down to sleep Saturday night in MY sanctuary. Halloween night I'd become acutely aware my dog, Thunder,is NOT a good guard dog nor even a responsive alarm system when she failed to utter a sound when 4 adolescent boys I did not recognize came 'trick or treating' to my door. (a rare, rare occurrence in our area where acreage separates next-door neighbors) Late Saturday night car lights beamed from across the lake long after the 'park closes at sundown' sign should have deterred parking there,thus I'd fallen asleep uneasily, a trifle insecure,after blocking the slider door and double checking the status of all the door and window locks in the house. (secret confession: I normally don't bother checking, never mind double checking, and often don't even think to close doors/windows, never mind locking them) I didn't make it to church Sunday morning but I was up before the sun, before pre-dawn light broke even. While coffee brewed I watched stars fade as darkness slowly passed into light. Awaiting dawn's early light I hoped to see local deer out for breakfast but they apparrently either stayed in or went the opposite direction. My morning companions were birds - jays scolding smaller ground feeding birds hungrily pecking like little chicks all over the parched 'grasses' surrounding the back door. Over the scolding jays I heard though I couldn't see, two hawks screaming and wondered if they were 'talking' to each other or like Indians in old westerns, heralding a pending attack. Though their screeching isn't exactly 'music' to my ears, it means I don't see mice and snakes like some in the area do.
Sanctuary had been way up there in my higher thinking for weeks before hearing that officer use the word so it was no surprise it touched me. I'd been thinking alot about home as sanctuary,what has been for some time now solitarily my home without ever feeling any need to separate my sacred spaces. I'd been feeling simultaneously urged to preserve and protect my most precious personal space and openly embrace a whole family with warmth,comfort and the security of sanctuary/home. It was quite touching to hear this presumably flinty, rock steady officer of the US Army toughened by his military training use this word that for me was a tender, gentle concept growing in my heart and soul and finding it's implementation in my home. It's a good thing to know what is to me, a soothing and serene concept of peace and nurture and sacred space has a high place in another soul less mushy than mine. After hearing that officer use the word sanctuary with such impact I went 'surfing' for quotes on sanctuary to add to a running list where I collect random words of wisdom I call 'Words To Live By'. I thought there'd be an abundance but found only a few. I like this one alot telling me sanctuary is in my self, not environment or space:
Remember, the entrance door to the sanctuary is inside you.~Rumi
Do you maintain a safe place of refuge and sheltered sacred space? Where is your sanctuary?
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