It's approaching mid-day. Early NFL games are nearly to half time. Nearly everywhere according to the Weather Channel winter is here already, despite the fact the calendar shows it's still more than a week off. Here, in the Sierra Foothills, it's coldly raining and has been all night and morning. The lake out back is filling and looking more and more with each hour like a bathtub about to overflow. I just switched the control to 'on' hoping a bit of heat takes the 'chill' off the air and brings my fingers back from relative numbness. I'm 'writing' weak narrative about time and weather as the opening for this blog post, lamely attempting to avoid spilling my 'news' of the day, thinking I ought to have a hot breakfast, take my meds, put on warmer clothes, clean my kitchen, do some laundry, put away some Christmas decoration cartons and get out a couple more. Anything, really, but post my 'ugly' ornies and confess my 'perfectionist recovery' exercise experience.
Ok - an attack of responsibility at that stream of thought DID prompt me to get up from the computer and take my BP/heart meds.
The 'first wave' of steady rain started yesterday with only a brief rest in the middle of the night so it was a cold, dark, rainy night to travel through to the site of the ugly ornament party. My driver was a brave and stubborn soul to come for me and convey me to the gathering. Few others braved the weather, choosing instead I'm sure to stay cozy and dry under the roofs of their toasty warm shelters, thereby reducing the sense of 'competition' I'd anticipated for the night. Good thing for me because my confidence needed 'life support'. After much anxiety about purposely making something UGLY, lack of ideas and frustration at the do-ability of ideas that finally came to me I was then surprisingly slammed into obstacles of equipment and tool malfunctions, shortage, lack and just plain poor quality materials. The only glue sticks I could put my hands on were producing abundantly string-y bonds, colors of 'craft' chennille pipe cleaners were inappropriate (where did THOSE come from?), I had NO actual glitter, 'glitter paint' (what WAS I doing with THAT anyway?) that looked gold in the container was merely pastel yellow on white plastic no matter how many coats applied and then the multiple coats remained 'tacky' and just would NOT dry. HOW was I going to 'save' ANYTHING worthy of even GOING to the party at all?????
I mean, REALLY!
My sarcastic, smart aleck, defiant 'self' started bending chenille sticks into letters spelling out u-g-l-y. I did it in all four colors - red, purple, school bus yellow and baby blue (again, where DID those COME from?) - I'd found and carefully spaced them in the shape of a circle on my table, hoping while my hands were busy my brain would come up with a better idea. It didn't. The string-y hot glue frustrated me enough that I stopped at two.
I thought I'd make them EVEN TACKIER with glitter but found none. (what craft-y gal has NO glitter? Later, relaying my disappointment by phone to Dearest Darlin', HE tells me there are vials of glitter in HIS toolbox. HOW'S THAT?! Who'd have thunk it?)
I did however find 'glitter paint' I remember having gotten for my girlfriend and neighbor's kids to use at my house eons ago. AHA! My daughter who was kicking off a short term career with some semi-homemade food/goodies company as a home party distributor when she visited last summer had left behind a baggie of some taster spoons I had no use for but hadn't yet tossed out. Those might make some kind of snowflake, I thought, and so arranged them for gluing. My resulting white plastic snowflake made of spoons and a water bottle cap I thought MIGHT be made UGLY enough to be a 'contender' by over-embellishing with the glitter paint, sequins and glass/plastic jewels. It really did LOOK gold in the bottle, so when it was only pale baby yellow when applied I thought just putting on MORE would be better. UGH! It never REALLY adhered and didn't get fully dry. But I was out of time. Further deliberation kept begging the question, WHAT does one DO with a YELLOW snowflake?????
Aaaaaargh! One. Yellow. Snowflake. I couldn't see making some joke of it relative to the warning about never eatting yellow snow. BUT...and this was when I realized the same God who made us in His image to create, has a fabulous sense of humor. And I took up a pen and wrote out the message I felt was imparted to me in the midst of my frustration. If you're one of the sentimentally religious folk who think of rain as 'God's' or 'Heaven's Tears' I warn you, stop reading now - you're liable to be offended.
The tag I strung on the yellow snowflake said: "This Yellow Snowflake is your sign: Hell HAS frozen over, and God is PISSED!"
